FIVE key factors to getting sleep in divorce
by Mary Halsey Maddox
Everyone agrees that divorce is stressful...and stress leads to all sorts of problems. As a doctor and a divorce coach, I primarily worry about the health problems of stress, particularly the health problems that occur in the stress of divorce! Probably the MOST effective way to combat divorce stress AND preserve clarity of mind is good sleep! In fact, I would argue that prioritizing sleep improves your divorce experience and even your divorce outcomes. Sleep makes you more rational, less emotional, and far more likely to take a pause before reaction. But that begs the question...how on earth do you get more sleep during divorce?
There are FIVE key factors to getting sleep in divorce. They are straightforward and work in most stressful situations:
Prioritize sleep - Set a schedule and stick to it! Your goal sleep time should be between 7-9 hours of sleep. If you get 7 and feel rested, do not stress about not getting 8. You are normal. If you need 9, do not worry about needing to go to bed an hour earlier. You are normal. Like grades in school, sleep need is a bell curve! Going to bed at the same time and getting up at the same time every day trains your body and brain for sleep, much like you train for a marathon
Avoid Alcohol - I know, I know. This sounds so painful, right? And alcohol makes you sleepy, right? WRONG. While alcohol actually makes you fall asleep a bit quicker initially, it actually prevents you from staying asleep. Sleep docs call this phenomena “Decreasing the arousal threshold” but all it means is...If you drink alcohol, you will wake up more frequently throughout the night and have more trouble going back to sleep.
Set a specific time to work on your divorce in the day and stop all divorce work an hour before bed! If you think of that “one last thing,” just jot it in your divorce notebook and deal with it the following day. It’s not going anywhere.
Make sure you get exercise EVERY SINGLE DAY! Sounds kind of like a doctor, right? But the truth is, exercise is scientifically proven to improve your sleep quality! A brisk 20 minute walk should do it! It also helps tremendously with stress AND studies show that a brisk 20 minute walk can improve your memory. All of us need that in divorce!
Avoid caffeine after 12 p.m. Caffeine has a half-life of 6- 8 hours. Half of that 3 p.m. coffee is still in your system at 9 p.m. Plus, caffeine blocks our adenosine receptors! In doctor speak, we need adenosine to fill specific sleep receptors in our brain so that we can fall asleep. Caffeine blocks those receptors so adenosine can’t get in and we can’t fall asleep quickly! Keep your morning cup of joe...it’s important and a daily pleasure...but try to drop that afternoon cup! Your body will thank you.
Sleep is a cornerstone of physical health, mental health, and resilience. If you can prioritize your sleep during divorce, you will better manage stress, emotions, and reactions. It is crucial for building a good foundation for your future! And if you do all these things and can’t sleep, talk to your doctor about a temporary sleep aid. Sleep aids should never be used long-term, but sometimes they can help in temporary situations...And divorce is temporary. It will not last forever!
You can do this! Sweet sleep for a more positive divorce!
This content was generated with AI assistance. While we strive for accuracy, AI may not capture all current laws and market conditions. This information is for informational purposes only and should not be considered personalized financial advice. Always consult a licensed financial advisor for decisions tailored to your unique situation and goals. AI is used to enhance insights, not replace professional guidance.